He stood waiting, pondering, atop a steep snow covered slope, cliffs flanking the route they would be descending. Hopefully it was filled in with the deep snow the weatherman said it would be. The wind was calm and the sky was clear, clearer than most days. The baby blue remained untainted by pollution or clouds. The air was a brutally-dry 0° and the first few breaths were painful. That number was hopeful, considering it was measured around 11,000′ at the trailhead, several miles back and a thousand feet below.
He was waiting for the all clear from his buddy, making sure that he was able to ride down safely. He watched Bill ride down the chute with panache; bounding off of large rocks and landing in an explosion of cold smoke, bouncing up into his next turn. This time he slashed his skis and floated around an outcropping of pine trees before setting his skis straight down and gliding to a flat area to watch his friends.
He was pondering where he would make his first turn on the steepening slope. “What the fuck am I doing here”, he asked himself. “This is fucking steep, probably as steep as anything I’ve ridden before.” Only this time he was in the middle of the forest, far from lifts, bars, bathrooms, or people other than his friends. He thought about the silence, any sound muffled by the freshly-fallen snow. He stood, waiting to drop in for what felt like an eternity.
Fully aware of how he literally got to the top of that slope, his tired legs a reminder of the hours of uphill hiking required to get to that spot. This was more abstract than that though, a curiosity as to what had led him to the deep snow and tall mountains that he now stood among.
Was it his first time on skis, a four hour learning session that ended with two brothers racing down the bunny slope? Was it finally figuring out how to turn the two-decade old skis well enough to make it down the icy intermediate runs at Ski Roundtop? Was it learning how to carve on hard packed snow at Blue Mountain? Or maybe it was the time he drove through the night with his college buddy Michael to make it to Elk Mountain before a heavy storm came in off the coast? Surviving the three hour trip by way of Sheetz hoagies, shooters of rum and Red Bull, sleeping in the jeep and waking to the fresh snowfall. Was it the ineffable floating he felt for the first time underneath the rickety double chair at Elk? Could it have been on the run that was tucked directly under the lift, between two rows of trees so dense that there were only one or two openings large enough for a person to ski through to access the totally natural and ungroomed snow?
Maybe it was the time he drove with Dave to upstate New York after leaving work at 11pm because there was a snowstorm coming? Lift tickets were $15 to a mountain neither of them had ever heard of. Again sleeping in the car, again awaking to fresh snow. This was different though, the day at Elk was maybe 4″, today at Plattekill was more like 12″ of snow. Having never really skied powder they were both anxious to see what happened. The first few attempts at turning and balancing ended quickly and with facefulls of snow. Despite several exhausting tries they both kept digging themselves out of snow up to their waists. But 2/3 of the way down the mountain something clicked and he stood up, making huge arced curves, gathering more and more speed, his legs screaming in pain, his gut bellowing a cry of joy that his breath couldn’t keep up with. The ethereal floating brought him to tears and left him literally speechless as he fist bumped the liftie(who also happened to be the owner of the mountain), unable to put into words what just happened.
“Dropping” he exclaimed, pushing forward. As the slope got steeper, he made one quick turn and then another. Gingerly maneuvering through the cliffs on both sides of him at this point, gaining speed and making longer turns. All of the anxiousness and pondering was gone, replaced by the unearthly floating found by those who seek it. As they raced towards the trees below them he quickly turned his skis, projecting a large cloud of snow so cold and light it lingered in the air long after he emerged from the other side, coated in snow and watching the remnants of the cloud he made get taken by the wind before slowly settling back to the ground. Maybe that was it.